A Game In The Life

**If you haven't checked out Joe's post today on whether or not the Red Wings were losing this series WITHOUT the referees' help, scroll down past our drivel and do so now.**

magumbo - \mə'gəm-bō\ 1 n the good and bad juju that play against each other to determine the will of the hockey gods. -ORIGIN Swahili. See likely correct spelling "mogambo" and the 1953 Clark Gable film.

The following recounts a game in the life of two rabid Ducks fans: one at the Honda Center, the other trapped in Illinois and watching the game on VERSUS.

PRE-GAME

ARTHUR:
4:30pm PST - Choosing a jersey. After the Gm 3 loss to the Sharks, I switched to the Kariya home jersey with the '03 Cup patch-- figured it had the "upset the No. 1 and No. 2 seed" magumbo. It gets the start tonight, along with the purple duck caller from that year and the lucky orange shirt. I'm now wearing orange peeking through eggplant, green and grey with purple/yellow plastic hanging from my neck. Color schemes in the 90s were outrageous.

5:00pm PST - Meeting Daniel's sister for drinks at the Benihana. We run into a fan, who says he grew up in Chicago then moved to California in '92. He's been a Ducks' season ticket holder since '93, and never missed a game. He pauses, looks at me seriously, and says "Murray never should have let Kariya get away." I whisper to myself, "Arthur. Don't hug him. DON'T hug him. Resist. Resist!" I sip my beer and nod.

6:30pm PST - The rest of our carpool arrives. We drive in from the Benihana on Ball Rd. We have a season parking pass and a handicapped placard. Best carpool ever. The fuzz is at the Honda Center. We see two cops on horseback, and two squad cars in the parking lot as we park.

DANIEL:
8:52pm CST - Just stopped playing Pokémon so I can start cooking dinner and get good magumbo going for the game. Contemplating the possibility that the Chi/Van game won’t be over in time for puck drop. Fucking VERSUS!!!!!

ARTHUR:
7:00pm PST - The Oggi's Pizza is out of Pyramid Heffeweizen. Their taps have been suspect ever since they took over this stall, and now they're out of beer. The domestic works fine, but so do my taste buds. I go across the way to get some Blue Moon. I walk to my seat. The Detroit fans have gathered around the glass. Sadly, it looks like the same number that show up to the regular season games. Why so many Wings fans in Anaheim?

DANIEL:
9:10pm CST - Stepped out of the kitchen in time to hear the VERSUS guy say, “As soon as we’re done in Chicago…” Never wanted the Hawks to lose so bad in my life. Rocking the old school jersey tonight. It’s full of that 2003, 2007 magumbo. Might have to get a fowl towel out of the trunk in my room.

ARTHUR:
7:27pm PST - I observe the good magumbo tradition of finishing my beer between the final intro video and the National Anthem. The refs come out, and for the first time since February, they aren't booed (audibly).

DANIEL:
9:29pm CST - Canucks are getting it done. Got my orange soda. I’ve had orange soda or beer, and cooked for every Ducks win this postseason. Contemplating the epic fail in magumbo by actually writing that down.

9:34pm CST - Chili dogs are ready. Canucks beat the Blackhawks; I will not miss puck drop!!!! I may or may not have scared my roommate the last time I didn’t get to watch the game on versus. I have recently resolved to not capitalize versus. Mostly because I don’t respect their coverage. Engblom just said we are in the driver’s seat. I wonder if it’s dangerous, jumping from bandwagon to bandwagon.


1st PERIOD

DANIEL:
1:28 - Just sat down with food, and we’re already a man down. Good news: versus hasn’t fucked anything up yet.

3:37 - Lidstrom to the box for Slashing. I had to write it down to believe it. Although, the versus crew never showed it to me ☹. Apparently, they don’t cover Lidstrom penalties, eclipses, tornadoes or other freak acts of nature.

ARTHUR:
3:37 - No jumbotron replay on the Lidstrom penalty. I really need to see it to believe that Lidstrom committed a penalty, and even then I'm interested in additional angles.

DANIEL:
5:21 - I need a bigger TV. The wide shots are killing me I can’t even read numbers sometimes. Osgood looks sharp. I want to score quickly. Arthur is staring at Hiller, admiring every flash of the glove. I’m definitely jealous.

ARTHUR:
9:03 - The fans stand and wave their towels because of an incredible series of Hiller saves that ended with him hugging the side of the goal AND a penalty call on Franzen.

DANIEL:
9:11 - I have no idea why Franzen is in the box. I try hard to be a knowledgeable fan. I like to know what’s happening, and what might or might not be a penalty. Thanks versus. I can get Hockey 101 on your website, but I can’t get the name of the penalty called during the game. I quit. No more mentioning a lack of reporting penalties from here on out. Let’s assume they don’t.

12:30 - It occurs to me that watching hockey is better with friends. I don’t know who to complain to about our inability to get quality chances on Osgood. I also realize how little I do when I watch hockey. I look up to see Selanne on the break. Finnish Flash brought a tear to my eye. That was vintage Selanne!!!

ARTHUR:
12:40 - Selanne calling for the pass. Carter hesitates, but finally throws out the homerun feed. Selanne straight down the middle. I'm screaming, "Don't let him pull that move on you. Don't let him pull that move on you!" Selanne pulls it backhand. "That's the move! THAT'S the move!!!" The Honda Center erupts. I climb the rail in front of me, wave the towel, blow the caller. At one point I'm doing the Ultimate Warrior 'draw power from the gods' move. Before I sit, I take the caller and make a 'D' over my head, lips and heart. For any Catholilcs that find that blasphemous: I've traded churches. Sorry.

DANIEL:
13:36 - versus guys just announced that the team to score first has lost each of the first two games. These guys are such a buzz kill. I’m pretty sure I stopped listening 12 minutes ago.

15:30 - The versus guy just said there was traffic in front of the net; there was nobody. Makes me wonder if they even watch the game.

17:33 - Just saw Hossa shake off Niedermayer, reminded me of what a huge dive he took in the 3rd period of Game 2; he went down like he was fighting Manny Pacquiao. That shit was ridiculous

ARTHUR:
17:55 - Wings Fan walks to the bottom of the stairs, gets yelled at for blocking the view and turns and flips everyone off. Classy. For some reason there's a "Ref, you suck" chant to my right. I must've missed whatever they're complaining about. Oop, Penalty on Pronger. As fans watch the replay on the jumbotron of Prongs tripping the guy up with his skate, there's a collective, "Well, yeah."

DANIEL:
20:00 - Period over. It was a great period of hockey!! I haven’t moved from one spot on my couch, and yes, it was the edge. Also just saw my first Outdoorsy commercial. Thought it would happen sooner. I can’t wait to hear Engblom and Jones say something ludicrous.


1st INTERMISSION

ARTHUR:
8:20pm PST - Talking to Daniel's sister during intermission. She claims she reads our blog. I apologize for the "that kind of website" comment, implying she was promiscuous. She hadn't read it. Or Daniel's reference to dating her as "taming the shrew." Woops.

DANIEL:
10:26pm CST - I’m glad Detroit is so "full of veterans" and has "so much veteran leadership" so they can coolly act like veterans. Talk about beating a dead horse. Look, I think Detroit’s a great team, amazing, but at some point it sounds like you’re making excuses. Just be real with me versus in-between-period-guy whose name seems irrelevant.

10:33pm CST - Do any of the versus hockey commercials feature Ducks players? Just curious. Then the versus guy informs me Anaheim has never relinquished a lead at home in this year's playoffs. Are they trying to jinx us? Do they need a magumbo manual? Someone shut these bastards up when there’s still 40 minutes of hockey left.

10:40 pm CST - My sister debates me via text about whether or not she is a 'shrew.' I blame Arthur; I know he told her. Whatever. She’d like those Chicago boys, not so much Ovechkin though.


2nd PERIOD

DANIEL:
3:40 - Nothing going on but exciting hockey, great checks, lots of up and down skating. WOW!!!

4:57 - Apparently versus has a no-replay policy. They refuse to show anything again unless it’s a goal, furthering the entire problem facing the NHL: there isn’t enough scoring, and the casual fan thinks that’s all the game should be. Thanks versus.

7:27 - Dear Todd Marchant, I’m sorry for ever doubting you or thinking you don’t belong in a Ducks sweater. There I said it, and I feel better.

ARTHUR:
8:16 - Cheering. Not sure what happened. Sasquatchewan (Getzlaf) took a shot, there was confusion, somehow it's in off of Niedermayer. Jumbotron replay. Nope, still have no idea how that happened.

DANIEL:
9:28 - I start chanting “os-gooood” with the rest of the crowd at Ponda Center. Nothing beats live hockey, certainly not versus.

ARTHUR:
11:00 - Hiller lost his stick on the previous sequence. The puck's on the other side of the ice, but Hiller's not leaving his net to get his stick. "Hillsy, GET YOUR STICK!!" Coming up on 30 seconds without his stick. He finally gets his stick, jittery as a crackhead the whole time.

DANIEL:
12:45 - Ebbett plays like he’s 6 feet tall. I love that little bastard. I like being able to observe those things on television. If I was there, I might not have noticed Ebbett’s effort. I might have been too wound up.

13:49 - Wisniewski goes down, and the Wings play on. That’s class.

ARTHUR:
13:49 - They show the replay of Holmstrom's elbow on Wisniewski. Seems like a lot of blood for an elbow, but Holmstrom does wear a lot of extra equipment. The ref in the Red Wings offensive zone (not sure if that's Tim Peel or Brad Watson) is talking to Niedermayer while he's in the box. Pretty long conversation. Niedermayer's pointing back to where Wisniewski was hurt. Looks like the ref may have seen the elbow, and regrets not calling it. I look forward to the make-up call. Wiz is carted out on a stretcher.

DANIEL:
14:20 - What a huge shift in momentum. I’m sitting back now. Wisniewski getting hurt sucked the wind out of me. We need a great shift right now.

17:00 - The praise of the immortal Red Wings begins. The versus guys are talking like the score is already tied. It occurs to me that I haven’t left my couch once. Not even to go to the bathroom.

ARTHUR:
17:05 - Mike Brown charging into the zone. Looks like he elbowed Kronwall in the face, hard. He at least swatted him down to the ice. Ref doesn't call it. Same ref who was talking to Niederamyer in the box. Brown continues to jaw at Kronwall when he gets up. Brown knocks the stick out of his hand and keeps talking to him. The puck comes back their way. Interference on Kronwall. There's the make-up call.

17:45 - Damn! Turnover on the power play. Selanne can't pass to anyone not named Kariya.

DANIEL:
19:40 - What happened to crashing the net?!!! I wish I could throw my computer at the TV.


2nd INTERMISSION

DANIEL:
11:21pm - CST: How many commercials will versus show me that feature dudes getting hit in the nuts? There’s one almost every break. They just started interviewing Niedermayer. I can’t help but notice that the interview with Hossa was about how everything was going right despite the fact that he wasn’t scoring, and the interview with Scotty is all about everything the Ducks are doing wrong despite the fact that Scotty just scored. At least Jones is saying good things about Selanne, and Engblom is talking about Detroit’s turnover problems.

ARTHUR:
9:31pm PST - Daniel's sister is really mad about this whole 'shrew' thing. And she's flying out to Illinois tomorrow to go see him. HA!

DANIEL:
11:36pm CST - Hooray Puck Drop!!! I was getting a little stir crazy. This period is going to be wild. I can't wait to see how versus decides to switch to an awkward camera angle during a goal. Just heard Wisniewski is going to be okay. That makes me feel better going into the 3rd.


3rd PERIOD

DANIEL:
3:53 - One word: Hectic!!!

ARTHUR:
6:00 - Perry can't put the goal in on the rush. He cocks his head back. I take it for him celebrating. I scream "yeah!!!!" Play continues. I look like an idiot.

DANIEL:
5:11: Can’t help but wonder what the building feels like right now. I miss my Ponda Center.

7:00 - I’m glued to my TV, waiting for the next amazing thing to happen. Want to be in Anaheim. Side note: I know who won the Cup last year. Does the NHL have no other game film they can lend you to make a NEW commercial, versus? The same old Penguins clip only reminds me that you are hyping a moment that turned out to be awful for Pittsburgh when Detroit hoisted the cup on their ice. versus sucks.

ARTHUR:
9:00 - Cheers from the 200 level. Security is escorting a fan in a Datsyuk jersey out of the building. Ironic.

DANIEL:
10:15 - Is there such a thing as a good in-game graphic during a hockey game? This one takes up the whole lower third of the screen, and makes me lose the puck along the boards. Another penalty in a clutch situation. Fucking Ducks need to stay OUT of the box!!!! Of course, I still don’t know what the call is. Fucking versus.

ARTHUR:
10:20 - Chelios gets sticked to the helmet. Ref isn't calling it. Chelios grabs at his hat. There's the call.

12:00 - 25 seconds left in the power play. A "Make Some Noise" graphic comes onto the jumbotron. The crowd actually makes noise, though they declined to for at least three separate Noise/Get Loud graphics during this game, and seemed to dodge the whole 'cheering when asked' thing all season. In their defense, I cheer every "Make Some Noise" graphic by myself, and feel like an idiot the whole time. I look like the kid in the helmet, who gets happy for no reason.

DANIEL:
12:30 - Great kill!! Needed that.

14:27 - Can’t believe Chelios went down like that!! He should be ashamed of himself. Miller touched his shoulder to speed past him and he went down like his knee gave out.

ARTHUR:
14:27 - They called Holding on Miller. I didn't see it. And no jumbotron replay. I'm going to pretend it's legit, and not indulge the conspiracy theory that the refs are giving the Red Wings a chance to tie this up late.

DANIEL:
15:27 - Side note: versus hasn’t announced who received the penalty and what the call was.

ARTHUR:
16:27 - The place goes wild at the end of the kill.

DANIEL:
16:38 - Detroit took so many two-handers across Ducks' sticks during that penalty I’m surprised none of them broke.

ARTHUR:
17:15 - Brookbank is getting dominated in the crease. Get him off the ice!

18:32 - How does Drew Miller make that play AGAIN? They called you for Icing in the 1st because you're not gaining the Red when you dump. So now you try it on the other side of the ice? What? Because you're farther from the linesman this time? They're not giving you the neighborhood play! It's a one goal game! You're killing me!

DANIEL:
18:32 - What are the odds that Drew Miller isn’t on the roster next game? His offensive sense is poor, and he just made a huge mental mistake icing the puck with less than 2 minutes left. Side note: Ducks have been getting better and better in the faceoff circle.

ARTHUR:
18:56 - Not sure how the puck got into the net. Jonas is sitting against the post. "Make-up call" ref, my new favorite ref, is waving his arms - NO GOAL. Detroit fans are still cheering. Some are even waving Ducks towels, refusing to believe him.

DANIEL:
18:56 - Gaisensei says that luck is a part of skill.

19:15 - Detroit is going to keep diving until the refs call it. I can’t believe this. It just makes me angry. I’m sitting here stewing about it. Can’t they stay on their skates?

ARTHUR:
20:00 - Cheering. I take a few pictures of the end-of-game fracas, and then bee-line out. My carpool hates to be stuck in the parking lot traffic. Up 2-1!!!!

DANIEL:
20:00 - Ducks win. Detroit snaps. Gloves go everywhere. Hiller is a maniac. That’s all I’m gonna say. All I can think about is being in the Ponda Center during the cup finals in 2007. Wish I was there.